Humor – Relational Advice from Technical Support

May 27, 2011 — 4 Comments

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears.

Don’t forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewelery and Flowers, but remember – overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).. Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

Berin

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I manage a staff of over 20 people plus oversee the largest video Bible School in the world. I produce many other different types of video training productions for pastors and churches, including a teen Youth series targeted at teenagers called YouthBytes which airs weekly on over 1,000 TV channels. I do graduations worldwide and manage a lot of foreign language translations. I develop and lead many strategic missiological & community development curriculum initiatives, and coordinate television productions for missions in many countries.
  • Danisasuarez

    This is amazing! I am printing it to read at the marriage ministry meeting!  🙂

  • http://twitter.com/Boudicabpi Boudica Bpi

    Too funny. LOL.
    Bob A.

  • Anonymous

    This is fantastic -:)! I love it. Thank you so much for providing me with a link to your blog. I am a follower now.

    Thank you,
    Daniela

  • Cygnetbrown

    Sad and hilarious at the same time!  I have to share this!