In the first Meow blog, we dealt with monetizing Meow and I promised in a future blog to deal with Chairman Meow’s voracious appetite. My daughter Christina got Chairman Meow from a rather inbred region of Pennsylvania and she came with two main distinctives, one, she is continually vocal and two, as Christina puts it, her full button appears to be broken.
Chairman also does not know how to function in the background. She wants everything NOW. If she sits on you, she wants to sit on your chest and make sure you can do nothing else except pet her. Texting is completely out of the question. When Christina brought her home, miraculously she was the correct weight, I think through a starvation diet of a law school student who was seldom home. Somehow we were entrusted with the task of keeping her at the correct weight and so the anti porky warning photos started coming. She said these were a cautionary tail if we didn’t curtail her voracious eating habits.
Of course Christina continued to send photos of other animals, always with the question: “Can we have one?” Of course who doesn’t want a few sheep or a llama or a giraffe, or a few of them, in their back yard?
Chairman unfortunately has continued to put on weight but we try and conceal it with photos taken at strategic angles like the lightbulb pose or the silhouette pose. The lighting or angle either helps disguise the porkiness or simply disappear the fat. Whichever way, they help her look just a little less porky.
I found this photo for Christina and suggested the porkiness may not be so great if we gave her a bath like this cat. Somehow I don’t think we would have the same result.
So now we are to blame for making Chairman porky. Christina is presently working on a way to monetize Meow’s porkiness. You see our other cat Mokona, who is the dark black one, used to be overweight. Since Meow invaded the house, she eats all her own food plus half of Mokona’s. Chairman also chases Mokona around the house and we often find them having a cat scrap like in the photo. What if we offered our home to overweight cats. Chairman would make sure their intake was halved and she would give them so much exercise, they would be slim and trim in no time. Kind of like a Jenny Craig for cats. We will see how that turns out. More about Meow soon to come.